holy shit, you’re too sweet, I love you so much
I am going to start off by saying I was absolutely blown away with how the night turned out…I couldn’t believe how (mostly) perfect everything turned out, and even the things that didn’t end up as perfect were laughable, even at the time. I also only endured ONE panic attack the entire time! I was expecting at least 3 meltdowns. The single panic attack also didn’t disrupt anything!
-Started off leaving my house AT 5:00 instead of arriving at the venue at 5:00. Hair and makeup was mostly done, but it was a hectic drive that I wasn’t able to enjoy because…
-I FORGOT MY
FUCKING VOWS AT HOME. SO, as I’m speeding to the chapel behind the wheel of my mothers 2013 BMW z4, I’m attempting to verbally recite my vows to my mother to jot down on a scratch piece of paper…I ended up remembering the gist, and they were received with a little more appreciation I think due to this (almost) catastrophe of a situation.
-I also forgot underwear. Weird, right? Not really, I was wearing Nike shorts, which conveniently provide underwear for you, so I had nooo freaking idea that I didn’t have any on until I got to the Chapel…My biggest concern was the garter toss when John-Paul was supposed to hike my leg up in front of everyone…Luckily, one of my bridesmaids had a pair in her overnight bag that was in her car, and I was spared another almost catastrophe.
-My one and only panic attack took place in the dressing room, where I had been left alone…the bridesmaids were escorted out to lineup for the procession, and they were going to get my father. I heard the music start up and my stomach felt like it was going to fall out of my ass. I wanted a piece of gum to calm me (I don’t know what it is about gum that calms me, but it just does, okay?) and I knew I couldn’t because I had to say my vows and I can’t be standing up there chewing ya know? So that freaked me out for some reason, and when my dad came in, it got worse because that meant I was closer…Seriously, my stomach is turning and my palms are sweating as I’m remembering every bit of how I felt at this moment lol…Anyway, we were in the little box thing that you stand in before the doors burst open to reveal the two of us…and I almost lost it…But, the doors opened, and I saw John-Paul, amidst a sea of people (that I did everything I could to ignore) and pretty much ran down the aisle, getting up there a few seconds earlier than I had rehearsed. The first moments up there, I really thought I was going to throw up or pass out, and then I started reading my vows, and I guess I hadn’t been breathing, and that forced me to breathe, and I felt better after that. John-Paul’s vows were remarkable, (I will put them in a separate post later) and I (barely) held it together as to not ruin my makeup for pictures.
-I wanted pictures of just John-Paul and I outside or something, just not in the chapel, just for shits and giggles but he didn’t really seem up to it, so I just took the pictures he wanted and we were able to join the reception shortly after the ceremony. The photographer was constantly snapping pictures of us throughout the night so I’m
not too upset about it. Hey, marriage is about sacrifice, right?
-Our first dance went well, except everyone was standing and talking to each other through the entire thing? It was the most bazaar thing I’ve ever witnessed (and the only thing I would consider ‘going wrong’). It was kind of a positive thing though, because that meant no one was paying attention to us (except the photographer, thankfully) so it really wasn’t too bad.
-People shut up for mine and my dad’s dance, which was okay, too, because he was up there just telling me jokes the whole time and making fun of people that he could see so that I was laughing and looking nice for pictures and whatnot.
-I had probably 4 minutes total of eating time, interrupted by my (not so) lovely step grandmother, and had about 5 minutes for cake, which was just me hiding in the back and inhaling it before someone could come up to me and start talking again.
-I had to nurse Ry twice while we were there. One, because I didn’t care to deal with bottles and two, so that I could still fit in the dress. I’m about a B cup when he’s just eaten, after 2-3 hours, I’m a D cup…So, in order to fit appropriately in my dress, I fed him throughout, which was really nice to escape the people (and the dress) for a few minutes and spend quiet time with Ryder. He was also allowed to crawl around in there and kind of chill out, the loud music would get to him after a while.
-I had placed disposable cameras on each of the tables with the hopes that the majority of guests would get a kick out of them…and I was right! We got them developed and they were mostly wonderful pictures and I’m too excited to take them to my parent’s to scan them and post them tomorrow.
-The sparkler send off went perfectly from how I saw. It was funny trying to stuff me and the entire dress into the front seat of my jeep, but despite all of that, I think there are going to be some awesome pictures to come from it
The cake was delicious, the food was amazing, the people were fantastic…it really was a perfect night that I will never forget. I am so so happy that I chose to have a wedding and I’m so so happy that John-Paul chose me and we have each other forever. Fuck, I’m so happy